thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
