I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
