mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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