i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
