I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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