I must be too annoying 4 u.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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