I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
