Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Every concussion has its silver lining
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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