Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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