Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
