People with herpes should wear stickers.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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