last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
