I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
