Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
