Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
