I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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