i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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