So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
