It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
