singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
