Whod you bang
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize