I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
