if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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