***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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