CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
