Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
