I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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