Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
