Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
