Tell her she can't have a vagina
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
