You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
