sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
