i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
