matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Can i not drive my cunt home
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
