Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
