we need to drink 2009 down the drain
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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