i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
