yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
