I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
