Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
