If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize