fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize