So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
