There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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