She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
