She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
