Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
