I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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