I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize