he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
