she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
