Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
