Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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