I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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