She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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