Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I had to cum in my sink.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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