Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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