It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
