Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
