yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize