When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
