forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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